Goodbye My Dog
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: Claire's dog is dying and she finds the passing of it painful... songfic with the song 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt. Written for Meggymoo02 Grandma's dog. Please R


**R.I.P, Meggymoo02 Grandmother's dog. This fic is dedicated to the poor doggy & hopefully will show the pain felt when an animal has to be put down through the use of our dear MV characters.**

**I own nada - no MV or song stuff**

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_Goodbye my lover_

Because how am I supposed to continue on? She's gone now and I can barely keep myself together - what am I to do? She's been mine for seven years now - I thought she should at least live for a little more.

"Claire, it's going to be alright," Shane whispers in my ear as we look at the delicate body of my Bea. Bea the dog I have had since I turned eleven, the dog I begged to bring with me here and finally won over my parents. The dog TPU would barely accept. The dog who was almost killed by Monica, Bishop, Ysandre, Kim and Oliver (he tried three times). However, she beat them all... Until now.

Now she is lying on a vet's table, her legs flat. She doesn't even have the strength to move her head, although she looks adoringly at me.

"How is it going to be alright?" I ask him bitterly, stroking my poor dogs ears. "She's dying, Shane, dying. She's never going to be alright again!"

_'cause I saw the end before we'd begun_

Me being the pessimist I am, I knew that she was going to die. As soon as I got her, I decided to have an emotional block between us so that when she died it wouldn't hurt as much. This idea ended as soon as I saw her though. I fell in love instead and realised that I could never put up a block between us. Her floppy ears shook as she looked into my eyes, her huge brown ones reaching deep into my soul instantly. With that one look, she had me. Her small body moved with excitement as I picked her up and she was obviously mine from that one time.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul_

She had my heart the entire time – never could I get cross with her. She may have irritated me at times, but once she looked at me, the anger left my body instantly. From that moment she looked into my eyes, on the day I chose Bea, there was a portion of my soul that was her. There was a huge chunk of my heart dedicated to her. She would never leave that. Even now as she lies here, waiting to die, she will never be replaced. Nothing could ever replace my Bea.

_you changed my life and all my goals_

I never considered going to TPU before… although it was my mother that enforced it, I was secretly pleased I was coming here. It meant that I could bring Bea here, with me, and when I moved into the Glass House everybody loved her.

My goal may have been a physician, to study everything to do with physics. However, Bea, you were the one who got me into this. You would bounce to me as I studied and drag me out to look at the night sky every night. You would be the one that got me enthralled in the patterns of the stars, the comets shooting across the sky, and this gradually got me to love this subject. Before this, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do, I had nothing. Bea, you brought everything to me.

_goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one, you have been the one for me._

And now you are going to die. You are going to have a lethal injection pushed through your veins, spreading a poison throughout you. You will be unable to do anything and will quickly slip away. You will no longer be my Bea in this world; you'll be in the great unknown. We won't be able to see you ever again and I cannot imagine it. You have been there for the entire saga of Morganville – just how much of an empty hole is there going to be in my heart? A great void that I cannot fill, no matter how much I try.

"It's time," the vet says slowly, lifting a short needle to the light. She then sets it into the tube but does not press down. "It's time to say goodbye."

I cry even harder as I bend my head down to hers and kiss her forehead. She whimpers slightly and my heart breaks even more.

"I am so sorry," I say to her, looking straight into those big brown eyes. The innocence in them shoots straight into me and I feel so disgusted with myself for killing her. They say that it's the best way for her to die, that otherwise it will be long and drawn out and painful, but I can't see how it is.

The vet presses the top of the syringe into the tube and I can see the thick liquid spreading out in it… heading into Bea.

_And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you._

How will I live without her? She is my everything and my rock – she has always been there for me. Now she is dying and she is leaving me.

_And I will bear my soul in time, when I'm kneeling at your feet._

I will get over the pain of you, Bea. Slowly and it will take many years, but one day I will be able to remember the good days we had. The days when you bounded over the grass hills with a steady speed, rushing to collect the frizbee I threw for you. The long cuddles we had as we watched those sad films. Everything we did together, I will one day be able to remember.

Just not yet.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one, you have been the one for me._

You slip away, and I cannot restrain my cries as your eyes close. But before they are fully shut, I see something which will haunt me for the rest of my life.

No more innocence, simply despair and fear. You knew that I killed you.

And I have to live with that.

I am so sorry Bea. I will **NEVER **forget you.

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**Now, that was a little depressing – what did you think? Claire needed to have a pet of some description, so why not a dog?**

**Please review!**

**Vicky xx**


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